How to Help Someone Having a Panic Attack: 12 Calming Steps

Panic attacks peak within 10 minutes; your calm presence is the most powerful intervention.

Immediate Actions

1. Stay calm – your regulation co-regulates them.
2. Move to quiet space if possible.
3. Validate: "You're safe. This will pass. I'm here."
4. Guide breathing: "In for 4, hold 2, out for 6" (slow exhale activates vagus).
5. Grounding: "Name 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear..." (5-4-3-2-1).
6. Don't minimize ("Just relax") or problem-solve mid-attack.
7. Offer water after peak subsides.
8. Physical touch only if wanted (hand on shoulder).
9. Stay until resolved (usually 20–30 min total).

Afterward

• Debrief gently; encourage professional help (CBT, exposure therapy, medication if recurrent).
• Follow up: "How are you feeling now? Want to talk later?"

What NOT to Do

• Paper bag breathing (can worsen hypoxia).
• Leave them alone.
• Judge or compare ("I get nervous too").