Understanding Negative Feelings Toward Your Child: Causes, Impact & Getting Help

Experiencing dislike, resentment, or detachment toward your child is more common than acknowledged—but it signals a need for support, not shame.

Potential Causes

• Postpartum depression/anxiety (PPD/PPA) — affects 1 in 7 mothers; also fathers.
• Chronic sleep deprivation.
• Child's temperament (high needs, neurodivergence, behavioral challenges).
• Unresolved parental trauma / attachment history.
• Relationship strain, isolation, financial stress.
• Unrealistic expectations of parenting.

Impact on Child

• Attachment insecurity.
• Emotional/behavioral dysregulation.
• Internalized shame ("I'm bad").
• Long-term mental health risk.

Action Steps

1. Normalize & Disclose: Tell a trusted provider (OB, pediatrician, therapist). You won't lose custody for feelings.
2. Screen for PPD/PPA: Edinburgh Postnatal Depression Scale (EPDS).
3. Therapy: CBT, DBT, parent-child interaction therapy (PCIT), attachment-based.
4. Respite & Practical Support: Childcare, household help, parent groups.
5. Reframe: "I'm struggling with this feeling" not "I'm a bad parent."

Resources

• Postpartum Support International: 1-800-944-4773
• National Parent Helpline: 1-855-427-2736
• Psychology Today therapist finder.

Seeking help is an act of love—for your child and yourself.