Offering Condolences for a Stillborn Baby: A Guide to Sensitive Support

Stillbirth, or the death of a fetus after 20 weeks' gestation, is a particularly painful experience for expectant parents to go through. By the middle of the second trimester, parents expect to be buying baby clothes, decorating a nursery and picking out a name -- not burying their child. If a friend or family member has a stillborn child, knowing how to express your condolences to them in a loving and sensitive way can help comfort them during this difficult time.

Instructions

• 1

  Acknowledge the loss. People often avoid expressing condolences at all because they feel uncomfortable talking about grief and don't know what to say. But parents who have suffered a stillbirth need the support of family and friends to feel like they and their baby matter.

• 2

  Choose things to say that validate what the parents are going through and recognize the severity of their loss. "I am so sorry your baby died," "I am very sad to hear about the loss of your special baby," "I can't imagine what you are going through" or even "I don't know what to say" all honestly and sensitively convey your sorrow for what the parents are experiencing.

• 3

  Use the name the parents gave their baby when talking about him. Saying the name acknowledges the baby as a special person who was lost, and hearing their baby's name helps the parents heal.

• 4

  Offer a hug. Touch can be very comforting to parents and can let them know you care even if you aren't sure what to say.

• 5

  Send a gift. Order some flowers, buy an angel figurine or piece of jewelry or make a donation to stillbirth prevention charity. Include a note that expresses your sadness over the loss of their baby.